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Just as this was happening, I heard a similar cry coming from behind me. I turned and looked high up into another tree to see three smaller hawks perched on a lofty branch. These must be her babies, I surmised. At that moment, I was quite happy that I was a man and not a mouse or a chipmunk. Surprisingly, it was the first time I’ve ever had such a thought.
As I stood far below, watching these three youngsters and their mother scan the ground for their next meal, I couldn’t help but wonder what they might be thinking, looking down at the campus from so high above…
Baby Hawk #1: Hey look…there’s that guy again.
Baby Hawk #2: Oh, yeah—the one that looks like Brooks Orpik. And look…I think he’s checkin’ us out.
Baby Hawk #3: Doesn’t he have anything better to do? HEY! Why don’t you take a picture, buddy? It’ll last longer!
Mama Hawk: That’s enough. Just ignore him and he’ll go away.
Baby Hawk #2: Hey…I bet you can’t…you know…hit him from here.
Baby Hawk #1: I bet I can!
Baby Hawk #3: Oh, I definitely want some of this action.
Mama Hawk: That’s enough! Nobody is going to be hitting anyone. Got it? Don't forget the last time you tried to "hit" someone and almost got Pres. Dell'Omo instead.
Baby Hawk #1: Hey, what’s goin’ on over there? See all those construction vehicles?
Baby Hawk #3: They’re renovating some of the dorms and putting in some new sidewalks. It’s part of the first phase of the university’s Master Plan.
Baby Hawk #2: Master Plan? What you know about any Master Plan?
Baby Hawk #1: Yeah, you can’t even read.
Baby Hawk #3: Groundhog told me about it.
Baby Hawks #1 and #2: Oh.
Baby Hawk #1: By the way, where have all the students been lately?
Baby Hawk #3: It’s summertime, dummy. They won’t be back until orientation on August 20.
Baby Hawk #1: Oh, that’s right. I wish RMU offered classes for hawks. I always wanted to get into nursing.
Baby Hawk #3: Yeah right, and I always wanted to get my MBA. Gimmie a break.
Baby Hawk #2: Hey look…that guy’s leaving. Guess he got tired of staring at us. Let’s buzz him and give him a real scare!
Mama Hawk: Nobody’s going to buzz anyone. They don’t bother us, we don’t bother them.
Baby Hawk #1: Aw, com’on Ma!
Mama Hawk: You heard me. Now keep your eyes peeled for lunch. They don’t allow hawks in the Food Court, you know.
--Valentine J. Brkich